I still had problems fitting in with the ward because I felt like I couldn’t relate to their experiences because of my rebellion. The repentance process took time, but even afterward-after I knew I was forgiven-my attitude about the Church still wasn’t what I knew it should be. I had committed serious sins and had habits I needed to change. Trying to Come Back to ChristĬoming back to the Church was not easy.
I thought of the peace and happiness that all of these people seemed to have because of their understanding and application of Jesus Christ’s Atonement, and I knew that I wanted to be like them and have those same blessings in my life. In this case, people who kept coming to my mind were all senior couples who were busy serving missions for the Church with their eternal companions, my parents who had always worked to serve others, and all the selfless men and women who worked hard to provide for their families and fulfill their Church callings. I have always looked for inspiration and direction in the lives of people around me who seem successful in their objectives, and I pretty much try to model them the best that I can. I looked around at my life and finally asked myself, “What do I want out of my life? What kind of person do I really want to be?” I decided to come back to the Church after I realized (the hard way) how the gospel affected the members who followed its guidelines. I lived a life completely devoid of the Spirit, trying to hide from God and my divine nature. I ended up going to school in New York City to become a fashion makeup artist.
I also felt like I didn’t fit in very well with the culture of church everyone seemed polished and perfect, and I was so far from that.
I felt that the rules were too rigid and were suppressing my fun. I had always had an interest in Church doctrine and the why behind the commandments and “rules” of the Church, but I never really tried hard to understand these things for myself and rebelled. And I was smoking, drinking, and doing everything else in between. I had been inactive for the previous five years.
0 kommentar(er)
